Porter's Story

In October 2011, Seth and I learned that our unborn son, Porter has a condition called Trisomy 13 or Pateu's Syndrome which is not compatible with life. We chose to let God decide when Porter's life will end. These are the lessons we've learned from our Heavenly Father through the life of Porter Gray.
Isaiah 46:4

Monday, February 27, 2012

One Day at a Time~33 Weeks

Send in the Clowns~

There have been so many humbling and wonderful moments this past week.

I am becoming increasingly clumsy and forgetful. Last Tuesday, I ran over a jagged rock when I got to Cam's school which caused air to gush from the tire. On the phone with roadside assistance (imagine me changing a tire while having a "spare" in my belly) I managed to lock myself out of the car! Great! One of my proudest moments. I am proud of myself for not crying! Thankfully I can laugh at myself (I'd make a good clown)

My church, Stonepoint, hosted a Night of Worship last Thursday where I was able to serve as an usher. I had the honor of meeting Andy Stanley and then Chinua Hawk who has a voice that I can only describe as a gift from God. I am so thankful that God has given me heart to think of others during this trial. It's so easy to just sink into your own sorrow and not be able to care or give of yourself at times like these. I'm sure my moments are going to come after Porter is born where all my energy will go towards grieving, but for now, I am thankful for being able to think outside of myself.

For the last several weeks, Seth and I have been SO excited to take Cam to the circus. I bought the tickets and either pregnancy brain or Ticket Master got us tickets to a show at the wrong time. When we arrived, we couldn't get in and all the tickets were sold out...then the guy at the counter said, "Wait a minute, is it okay if you sit on the front row? I just found two more tickets?" Ummmm, OKAY! So we had the best seats in the house! Cam was rivetted from the moment the show started! He loved it so much, he even made friends with the older man next to us and insisted on holding his hand for part of the show. That child is so funny!




Saturday, we had our first gathering with our new Community Group from Stonepoint. I am so excited to get to know these new friends.

Preparing for Porter~

Some precious gifts for Porter have trickled in occasionally. Today we recieved a sweet bible from one of my close friends with Porter's name engraved on it. I also received a couple of layette gowns I had personalized for Porter for when he is born. Another dear friend gave us a hat she knitted for him. All of these things are so meaningful and special to us, we will keep them forever.



So life is ticking by day by day and while I am trying my hardest to enjoy moments with Porter now, my mind drifts to what it will be like on the day we meet him. Always when I think of that day, my eyes well up with tears, my chest and throat tighten, and sometimes I sob. As much as I want to hold him in my arms, I know even sooner he will be in my Father's arms.

Prayers for the Peabody's~
~Pray for continued good moments with family and friends in the days to come
~Pray for peace surpassing all understanding leading up to and especially on that day
~Pray for my physical and emotional strength in the weeks to come. Physically, my back pain at the end of the day and during the night has rendered me almost unable to walk
~Praise God, we will have an ultrasound this Wednesday to get some more information about how Porter is growning and will get to see him on ultrasound with a real doctor!
~Pray for other mommy's greiving the loss of their babies. Especially those who've lost perfectly healthy babies unexpectedly.

1 comment:

  1. your blog is absolutely beautiful. thank you for sharing such precious moments with the rest of us.

    blessings to you,

    jill

    ReplyDelete