26 Week Update~Roller Coaster Riding!

Here we are at 26 weeks! I look more like I'm 30! I feel like I'm 8 months! My belly is huge and I'm finally having to give in to real maternity pants. Not that it's a bad thing!

I had my 26 week OB appointment last week and completed my oral glucose tolerance test. I'm not going to lie, I had a donut today just in case they called and said I failed my test! Crossing my fingers that doesn't happen!

Last weekend was very difficult but also very good for me. I was able to cry it out all weekend and just let myself feel all of the sadness, anxiety, and everything that's been bottled up for the last 4-6 weeks. You know what it feels like to be so stressed out and then just stop. Take a breath...and sigh. Well, that's what last weekend did for me. It must be a God thing that I feel this calm and peace right now. This is the roller coaster ride Katie had been referring to. I hit bottom and now we're slowly climbing to the next peak, just holding on to my Lord, my family, and my sanity the best I can for now.

So much has happened over the last few days. Last weekend, Seth took Cam for a boys weekend to see his uncle in south Georgia so I could rest. It was so good for me, but I missed them terribly. While they were gone, I set up Cam's "big boy" toddler bed complete with what Cam would find most appealing...Thomas the Train! He LOVED it! And was so excited to spend the first night in his bed.

Monday night, Seth felt Porter kick for the first time! I've never been so thankful for the little things. Just the chance for him to get a kick from his baby boy since every moment we have is not guaranteed.

Tuesday, Cam went poo poo in the potty! Okay, TMI but that was a pretty exciting day! We haven't pushed him to potty train at all, only encouraging his own interest in it! He's getting to be such a big boy. I'm a little sad we won't get to do this again for now. I guess this is where the grieving what "might have been" comes into the picture.

Friday we have a meeting with hospice. I'm not really looking forward to it, but in some ways I hope we get the chance to use their services. This would be if we are able to bring Porter home for a little bit. Time. That's what I'm praying for.

I'm planning an ultrasound with the grandmothers and my best friends. I want them to be able to see Porter in case we don't have time with him after he is born. We'll be able to get ultrasound videos and pictures for keepsakes. I'll be honest that I'm most worried about seeing his double clefts. I'm ashamed to admit that this frightens me because I don't want anyone, especially Porter to ever sense anything but total and complete love from me. I've seen gorgeous babies with single clefts, but the impression that I get from double clefts is that the facial deformity is so much more severe. I'm am pretty sure that when he's actually born I won't see anything but perfection.

I am most excited for this weekend! There are five amazing mommy's and daddy's who have or have had sons and daughters with trisomy. I'm really glad the fathers are coming because a lot of times we forget that they have a tremendous burden to care for their grieving wives and families while they grieve as well. Don't know if they'll feel like talking, but at least they will be in the presence of other dads that get it.

A lot going on in the Peabody house but so glad to be feeling an unexplainable joy in the midst of turmoil.

Thank you all for your continued prayers! They have the power to lift us up and change our hearts.