27 Week Update~Wow! What a week!

It's a good thing I passed my glucose test because over dessert on Saturday night we had five couples gather together who all have either had children with trisomy 13 or 18 or are due in the next few months. Some already knew one another and some were meeting for the first time, but if you had just seen everyone together you would have never known. Everyone just jumped right in to conversation. There is an extraordinary bond and understanding when you have experienced this kind of journey. Thankfully, we put Chris to work getting pictures to capture this special time together! Doesn't everyone have a look of an unexplainable joy? Even in the midst of loss and grieving, they are all so beautiful!

Kara and Jonathan are due February 6th. Their son, Dalton, has partial trisomy 13. There is still so much unknown about what Dalton's arrivial will be like. Please pray for Kara and Jonathan as they come closer to meeting this precious boy. You can read Kara's blog "Devotions to Dalton" to learn more about this wonderful family. Pray for Dalton to defy the odds and amaze everyone he meets that day and the years to come!

Last Friday, I met with a nurse from Hospice Atlanta. She was incredible. Can you imagine the heart one must have to support families when preparing for the loss of a child? She blew me away with her ability to lead the conversation away when it became difficult to talk and how at the same time she acknowledged what we expressed. I thank God for people like her in the world. There was a time in my career when I had considered hospice nursing. I'm not sure I have what it takes, but she certainly does!

These are the two things that truly make me cry everytime I think about Porter's time here with us:

1. My desire for Campbell to want to hold his baby brother. I want him to have held him and to capture this moment on film for when Cam is older. I know 2 year olds are unpredictable, so I know we'll have no control over his actions but this is one thing I want so much.

2. Once Porter is born into heaven (thank you Kalee for this expression), I feel so strongly about him being held lovingly in my arms or someones' arms who loves him until it is time to hand him over to the funeral home. I don't know what the hospital policy is if that is where it happens, but I can not bear the thought of him going any other way.

One of my friends quoted C.S Lewis, "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." I know Porter is here with us now and we do not know how long his soul will be with us here on this Earth, but I know we will see him again someday. Sometimes I wonder, when I see him, will he be a grown man or a boy or a baby? I'm not sure? Part of me thinks he will be grown into who he would have been here.

There is so much I want to tell each of you reading this. So much more than just how I'm doing this week. Soon I will share how God brought me to this place of surrender and acceptance. It was certainly a journey of faith that I didn't even know I needed to take. It involves the loss of several baby brothers and sisters of Cam and Porter and also the loss of my dear friend, Lindy. I will share that journey with you on the way down this one in the next few weeks.

Thank you all for your continued prayers, love, and support. I am convinced your prayers have brought me out of the pit of sorrow and despair I was in last weekend. I feel so calm and confident in my Lord today. I will still weep, but weep with a joy of hope in eternity.

Love Jeannie