Calling All Prayers!

30 Week Update~ Porter will be here before we know it!

We met with our OB this week. Well, not OUR OB.

I should clarify, our precious OB physician who has mourned with us through all of our losses, celebrated the arrival of Campbell, and now loving us through carrying Porter,  is sick. Please remember her in your prayers. Go on your knees before the Lord and ask for healing for her. She has a genuine heart and compassion for her patients that is rare and lovely. Pray for strength, encouragement, and for the touch of our Great Physician's hands.

So now we are really trying to establish who will be the one to deliver Porter (if we have a scheduled c-section and don't go into spontaneous labor first). We want this person to care about us as a family, Seth, Jeannie, Cam and Porter. That our decision to carry Porter and our hearts and wishes will be meaningful to them as it was with our primary doctor. Please pray that the right person delivers Porter.

We discussed delivery as early as end of March or first of April. We'll schedule the surgery in the next 6 weeks which means we'll be meeting Porter before we know it. I feel such a finality in that. Not that the journey is over, but that very soon the unknown will be known. We will meet our son and know the unknown. All of a sudden, it is time to make sure we are as ready as possible. This means thinking about things that are hard to talk about.

I know anxiety and sorrow will mount in the weeks to come. The roller coaster will become more unpredictable. I know God will carry us through, but I would be lying if I didn't tell you I am afraid of the pain and sorrow to come. I'm not afraid to meet Porter, I rejoice at the thought of that. But I am very afraid of the depth of the pain I will feel when I have to say goodbye to him in this life. It is unnatural. It is okay for me to feel this and to be afraid and to confess this to the One who gives me hope and a future.

My tears flow as a write, but they are healthy and normal tears of any mother anticipating the loss of a baby she longs to hold and comfort and watch grow.

Prayers for the Peabody's
~Indescribable and unexplainable peace in the weeks to come
~Time with Porter in our arms
~Our doctor whom we love experiencing illness
~The doctor who will deliver Porter
~That we will be comforted and everything that needs to happen will fall into place
~This may sound crazy, but also that the right music will be selected for Porter's memorial. There are so many wonderful songs to communicate the love of God and the life of a child like Porter I can't seem to narrow them down! Music is healing and meaningful for so many, I just want the right ones.

Love Jeannie