It's been almost 3 months since our last update. Mostly because our world has been turned upside down once more and it is hard to find the words to describe what the last few months have been like for the Peabody family. The other big thing is that the next story is not really mine to tell. So trying to find the words to describe what we are experiencing right now would invade the world of someone I love....like a cancer. So I've procrastinated, not really knowing where to go from here...
For those of you who have continued to love and pray for us or just want to take a peak into the lives of a family being weathered by the storm...here is the latest severe weather warning...
The tree of life represented on Porter's urn.
It was so important to Seth and I to have just the right place for him. We know that one day we will all be given a new body and be restored and made perfect. We have assurance of this because of God's love for us through Jesus. It's so comforting to know that this is not the end. That we will hold Porter in our arms one day. And I believe he is not a baby now as so many special mommy's imagine their sweet children as angel babies. I see my Porter as the perfect, fully grown man that God had in mind for him when he was created. I pray this does not hurt any of my beautiful mom's that are experiencing loss right now, but that is my vision of Porter. Not as a helpless, needy infant who can't care for himself without his mother, but a son of our Saviour, made whole because of Christ's love for us.
Seth and I have not had Porter's ashes transferred yet. We want to do this together as his parents and not just another thing on our "to do" list. We'll make a special day of it and honor him in some way.
On a lighter note...we have a funny, smart, clever, compassionate, and never boring 2 year old on our hands. Cam is...joy. We never ever take for granted a single minute with him...even if he hasn't slept through the night in over 2 months...but that's another story. Yawn..
P.S. the secret to better pictures is letting them see themselves on your iPhone for the pic! Ha!
Cam has been talking about Porter so much lately. He is not sad, or scared, or confused. He just wants us to know that he is a big brother to Porter. He wants us to sing songs with Porter's name in them. The other day, our neighbor's daughter was playing at our house and Cam took her by the hand, led her to a picture and said, "baby brother Porter". We have been blown away by how much Cam wants his baby brother acknowledged. Sometimes he'll say, "Porter with Jesus" and "Porter outside with Jesus". I don't instigate conversations about Porter with Cam, but I will admit that it is a great comfort that he remembers his brother and wants us to remember him too.
A Mother's Love...
I'd like to tell you a little something about my mom. She is kind, she is loving, she is good, she is faithful. She has a servants heart and will often sacrifice her own comfort and well being for those that need her. She is a women that seeks God's own heart and prays like a warrior. She is a little too proud of her grandson (like most grandma's) and her daughter too...I can't imagine why... :0)
She is a woman I am blessed to call Mother. You see, I don't know what it's like to have a parent that doesn't care about me, that didn't have my best interest in mind as I grew up. And God bless her for enduring the adolescence and beyond of a stubborn, opinionated, strong willed, know it all child like me!!!
My mom was there for us every moment I've needed and wanted her my entire life. And now, I have the opportunity to be there for her.
The Next Category 5: A Chance to Give Back
I won't say much about this because it's not my story to tell. What I will tell you is that my sweet mother has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We understand the battle that she has begun. I am a nurse (with little oncology experience) but enough medical background to know this is a challenge. I also believe that her tumor is small enough and contained enough and that our God is big enough to bless her with a long and full life in spite of her current hardship.
The next months will involve aggressive treatment to achieve our goals.
I would never in a million years wish this upon my worst enemy much less my own mother. All I know is that this is my time to give back to her a teeny, tiny bit of what she has given me.
I love her.
Mom has been such a trouper during this difficult time! I've even had to lecture her about not worrying so much about the doctors and nurses ! She's more worried about them than herself! Good thing she has her own personal nurse!
Please pray for our family if you remember us. We miss Porter, we haven't slept through the night since June!!!!! and Mom is facing the most difficult challenge of her life (as are we). We are weathered, and beaten and facing the storms of this life.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Until next time,