Luke 22: 42
Seth and I are completely humbled and in awe of the friends and family that came to celebrate the life of our sweet Porter last Thursday. Buckhead Church and their volunteers provided our every need right down to tissues and water for the guests. Chinua gave his time and talent to sing the songs my soul carry in my heart daily to my Lord. We were able to share our love of Porter and the love of God with so many that day. I will never forget the beauty of that service. My heart will treasure that time forever.
A dear family friend spent hours on the video for our service. This family is so precious to us and has spent many nights on the phone with me giving me advice on motherhood with Cam! Thank you, Scott for giving us this gift of memories to music.
My sister in law made the programs to look like a birth announcement because she said, "Every baby should have a birth anouncement!" Needless to say, I cried at her thoughtfullness.
That night, Seth and I watched the video of Porter being born and relived the 38 minutes we had with him. We read our guest book and about 100 messages from many of our guests that shared what they learned from Porter. Here are a few of my favorites.
Porter, you helped me...understand that 30 minutes matters more than 80 years in God's perfect will. Boy, I love you baby Porter. I will kiss your toes in heaven. RV
Porter, you helped me...realize how precious each and every life is. You have taught me that no matter how long someone is on this earth that they can implact many. I've learned that McKinley has a new friend in heaven! KH and MH
I was not prepared for the day after the memorial. I was hit with the overwhelming emotion of "What now?". I'm so thankful for friends like Katie that I can text or call and ask if they felt this way.
I'm working on figuring out where to focus my grief and healing. I'm reminded of the Greatness of God and trying to focus my thoughts on his awesome power, and love for us. I plan to read some books including Heaven by Randy Alcorn. I'd like to read about where Porter and his little brothers and sisters are living and remind myself of how wonderful it will be there.
Remember when Christ was on the Mount of Olives praying? When even he asked that "this cup" be taken from him if it is the Father's will? I remember praying that God would take this cup from me. This pain of death and the loss of Porter. I am so thankful that Christ was willing to take the cup his Father gave him. Even our God in human flesh dreaded death. Especially the gruesom, painful, and slow death that lay ahead of him. I am thankful that he loved us enough to follow through with the plan. God's plan was perfect from the beginning of time. Even before we "broke" this world with our sin. Because he loved you and me, Jesus took the cup...died on the cross...so we can live forever with God for eternity....
So when I think of my cup, I may not want it (whatever my circumstance is), but I know that God can take my cup and use it for his glory. I hope that God will take my cup...and use it to plant seeds of faith, show others how good he is, and ultimately lead others to him.
As hard as it was to drink the cup of losing Porter, the thought that God can use our love for Porter as a mirror of God's love for us makes it all a little more bearable. I hope that I'll see even one person in heaven who is there as a result of how God can do great things through Porter's life.
Prayers for the Peabody's
~Healing of our broken hearts
~Wisdom in what God's will is for our lives and for our family
~God will make clear where we go from here
Love Jeannie and Seth